i understand that school is important and education is important but i feel like there’s a huge difference between a healthy amount of challenge in order to do better and being so stressed about school that you break down and cry
Me rn 😩😰😡
i feel like i am getting worse and worse. i don’t even know if it’s possible to change. i mean i know people do, but for me i just don’t know if it’s possible. all i know is that i wake up everyday with the same sadness and the same thoughts that hinder me from any progress whatsoever. when will things start to actually get better for me?
i am a fucked up person who treats everyone who loves me like complete shit because showing any type of intimacy or love towards another person makes me so uncomfortable. i cut you out of my life on purpose when you needed me the most. what kind of friend does that? and here i was mad at you thinking that you were a negative influence and needed to get rid of you. damn i fucked it all up. this is not the person i am. i realized that i cant compromise my relationships on the journey of self discovery. i need to have support, i can’t do it all on my own. i need to take someones help and advice for once and grow the fuck up. god i hate myself so much sometimes and i don’t understand why i do the things i do? why do i constantly sabotage my own happiness for the stupidest reasons? i don’t even know what to do now. i feel like it’s only get worse for me when i finally thought i had a handle on things. maybe i deserve to be alone.
I’m a terrible person and I’m so sorry.